Archive for the 'english' Category


The Happy in Unhappy

Feb 12, 2011 in Random Thoughts, english

Just comparing the characters in the two words, happy is more than 70 percent unhappy. Alright, from a linguistic point of view that is complete nonsense. Oh well, my A-Level exam in German was the last affirmation needed to confirm that I should pick a career as far away from anything that has to do with literature or writing. I hope you will get my point anyways.

The title would probably make more sense if it would read something like “The happiness in being unhappy” or even “Unhappy being happy”. Why? Because my mood is very similar to the winter in Seattle: Mostly gloomy, with a few moments of pure ecstasy when the sunlight is coming through for a split second. And that’s not even the crazy part, it gets even better: I love it. I love being unhappy. I hate being happy for too long, and I am passionate about it.

Happiness isn’t supposed to last long, it is a very special reward for a new achievement, for something great you have accomplished. Without all the discontent, there would be nothing but stagnation. And I am enjoying this creative depression, this urge to make more out of everything. To look for any opportunity to get this short thrill of being happy about yourself and the world. I know that this doesn’t necessarily make me a more likeable person, in fact it’s quite the opposite.
But what is the alternative? I could try to be happy about everything and smile like there is no tomorrow, but about what? Our earth is far from being perfect or a cheerful place. And just grinning about this won’t make it better. I don’t even really like overly happy people. I secretly think there are two kinds of those people. The first group, usually not the biggest thinker or just little kids, this group is happy because they don’t know that there is more. The other group of people is faking it, they gave up to improve their life and settled with what they have, but deep inside they are bitter and jealous. There might be a chance that life has a happiness curve like a soup bowl, I already covered the kids, and maybe if you do it right and were discontent enough in the middle you gain some happiness looking back at the end. But being really happy when death is creeping closer and closer, I don’t know.

So, long story short. I am unhappy, and enjoy it. And it is paradox, since being unhappy makes me happy, or at least feels good. It is for sure better than the monotony of this fake happiness.
Maybe I would even like to be happy for a longer time, but I can’t really. Wikipedia even says, that how happy a person is depends to 50 percent on the genes. So, since I seem to be genetically bound to be unhappy, I might as well tell myself I like it.

It’s been a while

Feb 03, 2011 in english

I guess that’s kind of an understatement, since the last blog post was 531 days ago. What did happen? The better question is: Why did it not happen, why didn’t I write anymore? I don’t know. I guess I was happy, busy in my life and job. In the past I used to blog when I was either unhappy or my life was changing drastically. So, there we go, it’s this time again.

I decided to (almost) always blog in English from now on. First of all, I think my English got a little better, so that it doesn’t take me longer to do so. Besides, my sister is dying to practice her English skills and maybe this would even be a motivation to my mom to continue (begin?) to practice.
Anyways, I know more people that speak English than that are only speaking German. I am totally aware that the last two facts don’t matter if nobody actually reads this blog, but at the end I am still practicing my English as well as having a sort of journal that reminds me what I want to do with my life. And since there is at least a possibility someone else reads this, I am a little more committed.

Speaking of it, here are a few things I want to do, hoping that at the end I at least start some of it. I want to work out more and get back in shape. I had my blood work done last fall, and my numbers were not really spotless. Every day a chicken burger with fries without working out didn’t really help either.
Then I want to play in an orchestra again. I didn’t really bother to look for one yet, since it will need a lot of time. I probably have to practice a lot more to have a chance as well.
I need to learn Spanish. Being able to speak a second language quite fluently is pretty cool, and it made me feel like learning a third one would be even better.
Similar to the first goal, I want to do more sports. I want to play in a small soccer league, play volleyball regularly and maybe start doing some kind of martial arts sport, mostly for to get better body control.
Last but not least, I need to start working on my website again. In my opinion it is a great idea, and it would be too bad to let it get wasted.
I know I will probably never do all of the things in the list above, but I would count it as a success if I do half of it continually. That’s it for now, let’s see if anyone even notices that the blog is back…

Save Internet Explorer 6

Jun 16, 2009 in english

While the market share of Bing is falling again, and I didn’t find the time to blog about my sunny weekend yet, I just want to point you on some funny links that were send to me today.

People are about as happy …

Jun 10, 2009 in english

… as they make up their minds to be. Says, or better said, Abraham Lincoln. Well, this guy was a lawyer and a president of a pretty big country. Considering this, there must be some truth in this sentence. But this would also mean that I am unhappy because I want to be.

Time to celebrate

Feb 13, 2009 in english

I just passed a milestone in computer history. But not only me, all mankind was able to be witness of this wonderful moment.

The Moment

Jan 20, 2009 in english

Right at the moment I was telling you about Photosynth I was pointed on this, another big MOMENT, captured by Photosynth.

Getting ready…

Jan 06, 2009 in english, last year in Germany

I am finally leaving Germany, wow. It was so far away all the time, but right now everything seems like there is nothing that can stop me anymore, everything is working for me.

Just another step

Dec 19, 2008 in english, last year in Germany

I finished the fifth of my steps this week, my last exam. Although I got the best mark I ever had in an oral exam, I did feel neither happy nor relieved about it. I was just wondering what took me so long.

A dash of sadness

Dec 12, 2008 in english

I am almost gone, and I am starting to realize what I will have to leave behind, the people I love, my family and my friends. I think in my last posts I wrote too much about what I am missing right now and what I am looking forward to, knowing there is a lot that will be missing in future.

Steps three and four

Nov 29, 2008 in english, last year in Germany

I can finally look forward to live in Vancouver soon. This week I passed my exam in theoretical mathematics, what I didn’t expect at all. And I also got an email saying relocation authorized.